You cannot touch me. This room has no doors and no windows, you cannot come in. The walls are the toughest stone, diamond, painted white to fool both me and you. You cannot touch me and your words cannot hurt me. I do not hear you, I do not see you. The room echoes my breath and bounces my thoughts off its walls. It’s white, it’s all white and I’m in it. My body and soul no longer tear me between the physical and spiritual. They are at rest. You cannot touch me, I cannot feel. My body is numb, I am not aware of its existence. My hands do not move and my heart does not beat. I feel no cold floor beneath me or my crossed legs falling asleep. I am alone, finally, in my own self. There are no emotions, no feelings, no senses, no nothing. I am alone, you cannot touch me. You cannot hurt me with your words. I am alone, I cannot hear you. The walls are thick around me and I cannot feel. I am finally at peace.

Update

Pay Up                                                                                                    

The pain I feel
After every meal
Consumes me all in all.
The mental ache
Is far from fake
And tortures my desires.
I want a choice
To free my voice
And tell you what went wrong.
But the sting I feel
Is so very real
That it hides me from the world.
I wish to scream
I wish to dream
But the darkness holds me tight.
Now it’s begun
I want that gun
To calm my restless mind.
I want the blood
I want the flood
Of grief when time is right.
Fuck the sugar
Fuck the spice
I tried my best
Now here’s the price.

Hormones

Relate me
Debate me
Tear me in half
Hit me
Control me
Defend my behalf
Forgive me
Forget me
Throw me down
Leave me
Bleed me
Let me drown
But love me
Lust me
Hold me tight
Let me
Please let me
Spend the night